I know that paper is here somewhere....

A business can live or die by its Accounts Receivable.  If your clients don't pay you, you have no money.

I used to own some retail businesses in another state.  I closed them over six years ago.  Some might think me foolish, but I paid off all my debts.  I purchased from close to 300 companies in a given year depending upon how well their products did.

I still get statements and invoices from many, despite the fact that I paid them in full and closed my accounts.  The statements are always for a zero balance, of course.

How long until these companies know that an account is closed?  What resources are being wasted?  Does anyone know what's going on?  If their software is that bad to continue to bill closed accounts for zero dollars, what other mistakes occur?

Does anyone review this?  Are they noticing the million dollar accounts in arrears?  Are there any judgements being made?

In addition to this, I used to fulfill sales for many through an intermediary service.  I'd get an email stating that someone had ordered something and I could decide to fulfill it or let someone else do so.  Sometimes the messages would be for someone who wanted to actually pick up the product.  I keep notifying the company I've closed.  They keep telling me my account is closed.  If orders go to closed accounts how reliable is their computer system?  How secure is it?  Are people being sent to a store that closed years ago?

The incompetence of companies astounds me.  They don't know if their clients are open or closed.  Perhaps they're still sending bills to Enron.

No Good Deeds Go Unpunished....a tale about UL Labs

UL Labs ensures that electrical items are safe for the public.  Or so at least I thought.

Recently, I was putting one of the new fluorescent spiral type bulbs in a fixture.  Screwing in a lightbulb is not rocket science or brain surgery (or rocket surgery, for that matter).  Our hand either entirely cups the bulb to spread the pressure out on a greater surface area, or it is held gently in the fingertips.

This one broke at the spot closest to my palm.  That was funny as this was at the apex of the bulb, but any pressure was around the sides. I wasn't even touching that part of the bulb.

If there is a manufacturing defect, there are some severe dangers.  Broken glass at the palm can sever nerves, arteries and veins.  Rather than toss the bulb and get another one, I chose to write the manufacturer and UL Labs.

The manufacturer responded quickly and offered a replacement, which is what I expected.

A Susan Gilroy from UL labs responded asking for a photo.  I took one and sent it to her.  Then she asked for additional photoS, showing all the numbers and codes around the base and additional angles of the bulb.

I might also add, that I had already provided that information to her.  The writing was so small, it required a magnifying glass.  I should also mention that the printing was a light gray on an off white background.  If you know anything about photography, it's difficult to take pictures of something with such a low contrast, especially with the printing that was only a few millimeters tall!

I set up a background to offset the bulb, adjusted lighting to help the contrast, found a way to prop it up, took photos from multiple angles, enlarged them, and emailed them to her.  They couldn't possibly need more.

Next she requested that I ship her the bulb.  Now this was taking advantage of my good nature and civic-mindedness.   I've done my good deed by letting a public agency know about a potential safety hazard.  I've put in about two hours filling out forms, taking pictures and sending them.

I said I'd pack it up and asked if she could send up a UPS Call Tag (pick up slip).  They're a multi-million dollar organization.  As their mission revolves about safety, I don't need to pay to register a complaint.  It's around $7 to ship even the smallest package, plus going to the Post Office and waiting in line.

She said they would reimburse me.  Anyone ever try to collect from a big organization?  At the very least, I'd have to copy and submit my receipt with a signed statement, and wait for them to send a check (or try to find out where it was.)   (I wonder if the Food and Drug Administration wants people to ship their dead family members to their offices if one is reporting mortal side-effects from a drug? Does the Transportation agency want you to mail them  your car when you report the airbag exploded?)

Before I try to write a polite response, she emailed me again.  This time, she said that I should have held the bulb by the BASE while screwing it in and the manufacturer would replace the bulb if I contacted them.  

OK.  Pick up a light bulb.  Can your fingers reach the base?  And if they could, you wouldn't be able to put it in the fixture.  It might work if each of my fingers were six inches long....or if there was a big donut hole in the middle of my hand.  Most fixtures have no room for one to hold your hand from the side and hold the base....certainly not can fixtures or gooseneck lamps.   (I think she's suggesting I attempt a 'reach around.'  I always thought of that as something different.)  Her suggestion is anatomically-impossible.

She thought that the reason I filled out the lengthy UL Labs form was just so I could get a refund or a new lightbulb.  Then she patronizes me by telling me how to screw in a lightbulb.  And on top of that, it was anatomically impossible to do as she suggests.

Ms. Gilroy.  Might I suggest you attempt a different anatomically-difficult move.  It involves both ends of alimentary canal meeting in such a way to produce a warm, dark and moist environment for the head.

I guess UL Labs no longer is an independent voice, ensuring safety.  Safety is their least concern.